Well, gaining weight. Weee.
I am at 174 pounds right now. I fell into a vortex after I quit WW, then tried the Zone. Nice idea, but the restriction stuff just puts my body on red alert, then I binge like crazy. It's awful.
I am back to lifting weights and eating clean.
I feel fairly ugly right now, my thighs feel huge, my muscles are floppy and I am sad. I'll get back on the horse, but I always want to go for the quick fix of a diet that promises "20 pounds in one month". Then I go crazy.
I feel sad. I miss my mother. I hope that my sisters don't think that I am pathetic because I can't drive. I feel weird. I want/dont'want to have sex.
I am worried that my husband resents me. I have put 600 dollars on our credit card. He is going to be furious.
I worry that I spoil my son. I worry that I won't be able to retire, ever.I worry that I will be a burden to my son because I don't have many friends. I worry that I will fall into a massive depression when my Dad dies. I worry that I am a horrible person. I worry that I will never lose weight. I worry that I am "in denial" of my "disease" and need to go back to OA. I worry period.
